The CEO of a $12 billion company summed it up neatly when he told me, “When someone walks into my office and is trying to market to me or sell something, I can always tell how experienced he or she is by the quality of the questions they ask.” I’ve heard the same message from hundreds of c-suite executives: the people who really impress them are the ones who ask the most thought-provoking questions.

How do you get a breakthrough in a relationship? How do you take it to the next level? There are a number of actions that will help you do this. Over the next 15 blog entries or so, I am going to highlight these one by one.

How do you get a breakthrough in a relationship? How do you take it to the next level? There are a number of actions that will help you do this. Over the next 15 blog entries or so, I am highlighting these one by one. Some are simple; some are very challenging. All help you move in the right direction.

How do you get a breakthrough in a relationship? How do you take it to the next level? There are a number of actions that will help you do this. Over the next 15 blog entries or so, I am highlighting these one by one. Some are simple; some are very challenging. All help you move in the right direction.

How do you get a breakthrough in a relationship? How do you take it to the next level? There are a number of actions that will help you do this. Over the next 15 blog entries or so, I am highlighting these one by one. Some are simple; some are very challenging. All help you move in the right direction.

Providing early warning to clients about real or potential problems–whether you created them or the client has made them (or is about to make them)–is more than just good practice. It’s absolutely the right thing to do. And it will distinguish you from other service providers who are too insecure and timid to confront them.This includes telling your client when you think his or her organization is making the wrong move.

IBM has historically been a large vendor to this company. Some years ago, the CEO of IBM, Sam Palmisano, calls up my client’s CEO and suggests they get together to talk about their relationship. They set a date in a week’s time. The CEO then calls his executive who manages the IBM relationship and asks how they were doing. The relationship manager telephones his counterpart at IBM—repeatedly—over the course of a week. He wants to discuss things with him. He never gets a returned phone call. Nothing.

You have to focus if you want to be more than an arms-length vendor to your clients. This means favoring some clients and prospects over others with more of your time and attention. That may not seem fair, but it’s best for both you and your clients.

One of the barriers to good listening is bias and prejudice. Stated positively, good listeners tend to have strong self-knowledge and awareness.